After all, my feelings were welcome and certainly no one was spanking me. My guess is they were doing their best to parent from an enlightened place. I'm sure none of mine would have mastered the concept of a naughty step or time out or anything though (and I never use the word naughty with them anyway - just don't like it).Play icon The triangle icon that indicates to play So it does go in a bit at that age if you to some form of discipline which is out of the ordinary. A few times he sort of made as if he was going to, and then said "no bite, bed" and looked pleased with himself. DS1 was so hysterical I didn't have time to deal with DS2 so I said firmly "biting boys go to bed" and dumped him in his cot to tend to ds1.īy the time I came back up to him (10 mins later) - he was asleep! And stayed asleep to the morning (this was about 5pm). The second time (the next day) he did a HUGE chomp. BUT I do remember DS2 biting DS1 a couple of times when he was just 2 - real bites, breaking skin! The first time we had a huge chat about how he shouldn't do it, look how upset and sad DS1 etc was. I never really disciplined mine at that age, more supervised and told them why what they were doing was wrong/dangerous etc. If you're always stressed and shouting at them then you just don't give yourself that option and have to go straight for more formal stuff - harder work for you IMO! If you keep talking to them and smiling at them, kissing them and telling them they're gorgeous (even when they are snotty exhausting little beggars) then you have strategy number one in your pocket, and that's withdrawing that positive stuff honestly, with my ds a stern and serious LOOK can be enough of a sanction. If you simply impose the sanction and forget it and move on, you are much more able to feel calm and in control IMO.Īnd I think lots of people give themselves less room to manouevre by not being positive enough with young kids. And I think if you're looking for a reaction (like tears or 'penitence') and don't get it, that is maddening and it only serves to increase your anger. I do honestly think that it really helps to take away that feeling that if a child is happy (or seeming to be defiant and not care) when a sanction is imposed, that your sanction is not working.I really do believe that these things can be effective. Snappy, I take my hat off to you as I think two or more children under five at home is just the hardest job in the world. Sometimes.īut it is so easy to think about how you want to do things when they are driving you mad. I have been trying to teach him to come and tell me he needs help if she takes one of his toys and it is begining to work. Also when he hits her now it is often because he is angry with her for touching his toys or something similar so it helps him calm down. He is 2.6 now and is starting to understand feeling sorry for doing something imo. Now if he hits her deliberatly or pushes her, I time him out in the hall, but I dont do it for anything else. So 'Dont bang the doors because it is too noisy and makes mummy's head sore/might break them ect' Also explaining why what he is doing is making you cross. If you talk about how he is feeling, it will help him understand those feelings of sad, happy, angry ect. I know people say they dont understand but just because they cant verbalise their feelings doesnt mean they dont have any. I tried explaining to him why he shouldnt hit her so saying things like 'we dont hit. I found that no matter how vigilant I am, he still finds a way to sometimes hit her even when I am on top of them. If you have room, I found my playpen to be very useful if I had to pop out of the room, and still use it now my dd is 12months. My ds was 17.5months when dd2 came along, and I had the smae problems as you. Sannie- I can completly sypathise with you having two so young. If it helps at all, my ds and lots of boys I've known really do seem to have a fetish for opening and closing doors! Sometimes you could say yes perhaps - encourage him to do it gently.rather than trying to stop him which if he's like my ds will be like trying to push water uphill. The NSPCC advice is that a child under two is behaving in a way that's about 'cause and effect' not about deliberately disobeying even if that's how it feels at times. If he is doing things you don't want, distraction is far, far better than starting a naughty corner. The onus is not on your child to be disciplined but on you to a) supervise them and b) limit the availability of things they can do which you don't want them to. I'm afraid this is a parenting issue more than a 'discipline' issue. Ditto with hitting his baby brother, it's simply a matter of completely supervising - no child that age can be safely left with a newborn even for a minute. If he's constantly slamming doors and drawers you need I think to get locks or child 'catches'.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |